Tag Archives: eggs

The War They Hide From You

For three weeks the war has been going on and nobody seems to have noticed.

It seems surreal when I’m on my way to the entry, the armor already on my body and the weapons hidden in the back.

The only thing people seem to have noticed is the smell. I overheard a few comments, my neighbor even went up and down our apartment block to check for a fire. Of course he didn’t find any. I’m wondering whether it really is in the air or whether it’s just in my clothes.

Of course not just the fact that this war goes on in secret – this whole situation seems surreal. For the last six years I was an exterminator, killing bug infestations, extended cockroach families and wasp hives most of the time and the occasional small mammal invasion. And then I’m pulled into this.

It started three weeks ago, on Tuesday afternoon, with a phone call. The caller, a male with a military tone, asked to be put through to the business owner. Ten minutes later we sat in the truck. Thirty minutes after that we were strapped in body armor. After two hours each of us had their kit complete. The main part is a small flamethrower.

Small because it has to fit in the pipes. Continue reading

You might have heard that recently four large egg farms were shut down because of “bird flu.” That is a lie. Here is what really happened.

My girlfriend bought the eggs. It was at a big supermarket chain but I rather not say which one. She brought them home on Friday evening and Saturday morning I wanted to make crèpe for us. Crèpe, not pancakes, that’s been our Saturday morning ritual since Christmas.

I pulled the pack of eggs from the fridge. I opened it on the counter and took three eggs out. The first one was fine, or at least it looked fine, and went straight in the mixing bowl.

The second one felt much lighter but I didn’t think about that. I cracked it open on the side of the bowl like the first. The shell shattered into a lot of tiny pieces. It was empty.

It was a bit surprised but I figured that could happen somehow. Maybe the chicken was sick or something. I felt a bit disgusted but I didn’t think much about it.

I fished the shell out of the bowl and took the third one. It felt normal again. I bumped it carefully against the side of the bowl and had to try it four or five times until it finally cracked. The white and yolk flowed out perfectly normal. I examined it to make sure, but there was nothing wrong about it, there wasn’t even a fetus like you sometimes get with organic eggs.

But I needed three eggs. Without much thought I took another one from the carton and instantly froze. It was too light. I felt the shell give in under my fingers. Continue reading